Service to others is the rent you pay for your room here on earth. — Muhammad Ali
As a Type 2, The Humanitarian, you can feel strongly that your purpose on earth is to be of service to others and to make a difference in the world. Indeed, it's likely that you have a very clear image of yourself as a helper. Whether you take on responsibility in your family, your community, or on a global level, you may need to feel that you're having a positive impact for your life to feel balanced and right. As a result, you probably get involved in a great variety of projects, sometimes over-extending yourself because you have trouble saying no. You may figure that there's no way you can refuse when there's so much to be done in the world. This kind of caring is an admirable trait. Just make sure that you leave yourself time to rest.
Although you typically spend a great amount of time and energy helping others, people shouldn't mistake you for being totally selfless. On the contrary, you probably know that you're willing to use your influence over other people to get what you want. After all, it may only seem fair that you would be on the receiving end once and a while. However, the best way to get what you need is to be a good guardian of your own inner resources and property. Know that you can be a giving person and still have some things you keep for yourself.
Like everyone, to some extent your personality has been shaped by past experiences. One reason you may identify with Humanitarians, Enneagram Type 2, is if you were often praised for being a good child. Having a few formative experiences where you got what you wanted by pleasing others may have caused you to continue your people-pleasing ways into adulthood. Another possibility is that during childhood you may have had to raise a parent's spirit by serving as an emotional crutch. If this is true for you, it's not surprising that you developed a need to help out emotionally during hard times.
When you're feeling your best, you probably have faith in the goodness of life, sensing that everyone's needs will be ultimately satisfied by a force greater than yourself. At these times, giving to yourself can be the greatest reward, whether you're treating yourself to a special present or simply taking time out to relax and enjoy your day. By nurturing yourself this way, you create the necessary conditions to reach your full potential. You also store up more energy to help others by taking good care of yourself.
However you aren't likely to be at your best every day. During the times when you're feeling your worst, you can become over invested in being indispensable and having people need you. You probably even feel that you know what others' need more than they know themselves. Strangely enough, when you're experiencing these feelings, you may find yourself disappointing others or becoming unhelpful. This failure to meet others needs can lead you to an even lower opinion of yourself. Know that such a downward spiral is caused by a belief that you cannot be loved without being needed. In possessing this worldview, you can find yourself wholly focused on what other people want while repressing your own needs and desires.
How can you avoid feeling your worst and start feeling your best? Above all, pay attention to what you need and want out of life. Not only that — but start asking for it. It might be hard at first, but try to be more open to receiving help, advice, and gifts from others. Understand that you are an individual who deserves to be loved and helped without needing to give anything in return. Other people get satisfaction from being able to help too. Start to welcome their assistance. In addition, try to spend time developing your sense of self and your independent interests. Focus on things that have nothing to do with needing to contribute to someone else's well-being or success. It's okay to be centered on you.
As a Type 2, The Humanitarian, your typical strategy when looking for love likely involves fulfilling others' needs in exchange for love. To do this, you can make continued efforts to anticipate what others want from you and to wow them with special efforts on their behalf. In essence, you try to be indispensable. You want any date of yours to know what a great partner they've discovered. You may attempt to do this by trying to create really memorable experiences for your date — with little concern for your own enjoyment. You may also focus conversation on the person you're dating rather than on yourself. At times, these methods will work like a charm. When they don't, you're likely to feel a bit rejected.
At times when you feel unloved, you'll probably hold resentment against others for not seeing how valuable and lovable you are to them. In a move toward greater self-acceptance, try to understand that your self-worth doesn't depend on your ability to fulfill the desires of others. Create some space for yourself to appreciate your own identity, aside from caring for others. You can do this by not giving more than is needed, listening to your own needs, and allowing yourself to receive from others. Let yourself feel worthy of love and attention, no matter how much you give, or do not give, to others.
When looking for a romantic partner using Enneagram types, consider how the types interact. The descriptions below give a general sense of how well each type matches yours. They also describe where the pleasure in these matches is likely to be manifested and identifies challenges you may face.
Pairing 1: Saving the world. A "Humanitarian / Idealist" relationship is marked by a shared desire to improve the lives of others. The two of you can be at your best when you're using your shared time and resources for the greater good. However, tension can occur between the two of you if you interfere with your Idealist's need for space and independence or they take your helpful suggestions as personal criticisms.
Pairing 2: Nurturing support. A "Humanitarian / Humanitarian" relationship is marked by a joint focus on nurturing and caring for each other and the relationship. The two of you can be at your best when you're both acting in loving ways, focused on giving special TLC to the other person. Tensions in your relationship can flare at times when both of you are invested in helping the other person, but neither of you is willing or able to ask for what you want.
Pairing 3: Upbeat focus. A "Humanitarian / Entertainer" relationship is marked by a positive outlook on life and unified action toward shared goals. The two of you can be at your best when you both have an optimistic eye toward your future. Know that your need for intense connection can sometimes clash with your Entertainer's outward, social focus — especially when they're getting attention from others.
Pairing 4: Dramatic romantic. A "Humanitarian / Expressive" relationship is marked by sensitivity, romance, and dramatic waves of emotion. The two of you can be at your best when you're exploring the joys of life and the passionate connection between you. However at points, you may become annoyed with your Expressive's propensity to wallow in their own pain. Know that tension may result if you try to cheer them out of dark moods.
Pairing 5: Contrasting space needs. A "Humanitarian / Experimenter" relationship is marked by a dedication to the relationship, despite natural contrasts in personal space needs. The two of you can be at your best when you find a comfortable middle ground between your two styles. Conversely, tension can occur when your need for intense connection clashes with your Experimenter's need to spend large quantities of time alone and without interruption or assistance.
Pairing 6: Accommodating warmth. A "Humanitarian / Advocate" relationship is marked by a warm and loving desire to build a supportive relationship. The two of you can be at your best when you're taking time to discover and fulfill one another's needs and desire. Tension in your relationship can result from your Advocate's tendency toward doubt and distrust. You can feel rejected if your partner looks on your helpful nature with skepticism.
Pairing 7: Spontaneous adventure. A "Humanitarian / Adventurer" relationship is marked by a sense of spontaneity, adventure, and a thirst for the good life. The two of you can be at your best when you're exploring the world as a couple and taking advantage of all the wonderful experiences that come your way. If tensions flare in your relationship, it's likely because you have a need to focus on others, while your Adventurer is more directed toward their own pleasure.
Pairing 8: Bighearted generosity. A "Humanitarian / Leader" relationship is marked by a strong enthusiasm for a supportive relationship and abundant generosity. The two of you can be at your best when you're both enjoying and appreciating one another through selfless acts of kindness. Relationship tension may result at times when your Leader's sometimes aggressive and confrontational personal style clashes your need for approval and emotional sensitivity.
Pairing 9: Harmoniously helpful. A "Humanitarian / Negotiator" relationship is marked by mutual helpfulness and a natural leaning toward harmony and ease. The two of you can be at your best when you're both able to relax into the relationship and enjoy taking care of life's day-to-day details as a couple. Tensions can flare between you at times when your Negotiator lacks motivation and you feel the need to help them get going on new projects; be prepared to face stubborn resistance.
You'll usually do your best in positions where you get to interact with lots of people. This leverages your ability to draw people out and engage with them. In management positions, you can be a caring and thoughtful leader. You seem to excel in encouraging others to reach their potential and advance within an organization. Fields you're most likely to be suited for include social services, fundraising, and human resources.
When you're considering employment with a new company, one of the most important things for you to think about is how well you'll get along with your potential co-workers. The descriptions below give a general sense of how well each of the Enneagram types matches yours in the workplace, as well as how well you're likely to work with that type in supervisory and support positions.
Type 1 (The Idealist): Saving the world. When you're working harmoniously with this type as either the boss or the subordinate, your efforts will likely be focused on improving the plight of others, perhaps through non-profit work. Be aware that you may have friction if the Idealist rejects your attempts to help them because they enjoy being self-reliant.
another Type 2 (The Humanitarian): Supportive. When you're working harmoniously with your own type as either the boss or the subordinate, you are very considerate of one another and look for ways that you can help each other. Be aware that you may have friction if you're unable to ask for what you want, whether it is a raise or a new process that would ease your workday.
Type 3 (The Entertainer): Upbeat focus. When you're working harmoniously with this type as either the boss or the subordinate, you work toward shared goals with optimism. Be aware that you may have friction if the Entertainer neglects to give you credit for your work on a project.
Type 4 (The Expressive): Sensitive. When you're working harmoniously with this type as either the boss or the subordinate, you are sensitive to each other's feelings. Be aware that you may have friction if the Expressive becomes too outwardly negative about the company or other employees.
Type 5 (The Experimenter): Contrasting space needs. When you're working harmoniously with this type as either the boss or the subordinate, you are dedicated to the company and your projects, despite differing working styles. Be aware that you may have friction if the Experimenter refuses to be part of a team.
Type 6: Accommodating warmth. When you're working harmoniously with this type as either the boss or the subordinate, you strive to support and accommodate each other's needs and goals. Be aware that you may have friction if the Advocate seems to lack trust in you.
Type 7 (The Adventurer): Spontaneous adventure. When you're working harmoniously with this type as either the boss or the subordinate, you make every workday an adventure. Be aware that you may have friction if the Adventurer disregards responsibility in their pursuit of excitement.
Type 8 (The Leader): Bighearted generosity. When you're working harmoniously with this type as either the boss or the subordinate, you are generous and supportive of one another. Be aware that you may have friction if the Leader becomes too aggressive or confrontational.
Type 9 (The Negotiator): Harmoniously helpful. When you're working harmoniously with this type as either the boss or the subordinate, you are very helpful to each other and avoid confrontations. Be aware that you may have friction if the Negotiator becomes complacent and seems to lack motivation.
Find a suitable work environment using your Enneagram type
When you're looking for work, don't forget to thoroughly check out any prospective employer to make certain that they can provide you with what you need to perform your best. Now that you know more about what your Enneagram type says about your work style, ideal work environment, and co-worker relationships, you can use this information to find the best job for you. The next time you're considering a new position, try this:
When you prepare for your interview, come up with at least one question that relates to your major Enneagram characteristics. For example, a Type 1, the Idealist, might ask: "How well organized are the processes and procedures within the organization?"
After your interview, take a moment to review the Enneagram type work compatibilities above. Try to see if you can guess the Enneagram type of each person that you interviewed with. Ask yourself: Do you think you will be compatible in the long-term?
Finally, if you feel uncomfortable with the people you interviewed with or suspect that you won't be compatible down the line, don't hesitate to let the opportunity go. Working with people you don't get along isn't likely to help your job satisfaction or success. Consider whether you'd be better off waiting for a better fit.
